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This year signifies a ten-year milestone since the word “ghosting” entered the mainstream. At the time, the concept that someone could suddenly stop contact with a lover without a word seemed like the pinnacle of disrespect. Our innocence was charming. In the decade since, seeking a partner has only become more bewildering – an oftentimes fruitless pursuit in awkwardness that is increasingly shaped by online slang.

Generation Z, a cohort who grew up during a loneliness crisis, a masculinity reckoning, and a coordinated assault on the freedoms of women and the queer community, faces a infinitely more complex environment than their millennial forerunners could ever imagine. And so their romantic vocabulary has grown more extensive and more deranged, with terms like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” pushing the limits of your mental fortitude.

Below is a comprehensive breakdown to the terms this generation is using to discuss love, sex and the search of both. To paraphrase one of the recent most popular online sayings, by the conclusion of this guide you’ll yearn to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it lacks “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Authenticity – In the view of Zoomers, dating’s ultimate goal is showing up as your true, unvarnished self. Good luck with that!

B

Avian theory – A TikTok trend connected to a methodology developed by couples researchers, in which you point out something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and pay attention to whether your date's response is interested or brushed off. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Independent partner – Zoomers' rebuttal to the “quirky fantasy girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend focuses on her own needs while radiating mystery and independence. (She could possibly have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Seat theory – This refers to choosing someone who aids you without being asked. If you walked into a room, they would fetch a seat for you to take a load off.

Errand romance – A outing where two people form a link while handling tasks, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how broke people in their 20s do affordable dating in a inflation-era world.

Crashing out – Having a breakdown when you feel swamped by life. You can crash out over a crush or breakup, venting all of your unreciprocated emotions.

The Letter D

DINK – Dual income no kids. Once a signifier of 1980s young urban professional excess, it refers to partners who choose against having children to prioritize their own well-being. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Open communication – The opposite of playing it cool: utilizing communication, honesty and openness.

F

Indicators

• Warning signs – Behavioral traits suggesting a prospective partner is not right. Such as calling their former partners unstable, poor tipping habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a new DJ career …
• Green flags – These traits confirm your decision to date a mate. Such as checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, low phone use, having a bed frame …
• Neutral quirks – These usually describe niche, largely benign quirks. Examples include being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still carrying around a biro in their bag, paying rent in physical money …

Shared obsession pairing – When you meet someone who’s just as enthusiastic about documentaries about the second world war or DVD collecting or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who hates the same things or people that you do (nothing builds closeness faster than sharing a nemesis).

G

The band Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend is into.

Ghostlighting – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of disappearing.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is affable, eager to please and loyal. The rare boyfriend who is adored by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Gooners – A mostly online subculture of men so fixated with self-pleasure that they attempt marathon sessions, deliberately postponing orgasm so they can persist as long as possible.

The Letter H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A phenomenon describing many women’s increasing despair toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

High-value woman – An ideal championed by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and contentedly home-oriented, who apparently has no goals of her own other than pleasing her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to understand the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Ick factors – Random and usually everyday dealbreakers that instantly extinguish any sense of interest.

“He would if he cared" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else get an extremely romantic gesture.

J

Careers – These have not been this important in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “banker” is the ideal catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd prefer partners in sectors they believe are being staffed by the more caring among us: nurses, teachers or therapists.

The Letter K

Kissing – This year, scientists learned that kissing has been around for 16m years. But the era of kissing may be limited since some Zoomers prefer fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen romance authentic.

Light catfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {